Archive for June, 2006

Butter Fingers who? me thinks not


Remind me again why he was called Butter fingers Barthez?


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June 28, 2006 at 11:58 am Leave a comment

BBC SPORT | Fun and Games | Commentators’ classics

BBC SPORT Fun and Games Commentators’ classics

Commentators’ classics
These are all quotes sent in by readers from around the world about the world cup. Follow the link if you have any to contribute.

Yorke took the full force of Gerrard’s shot right in the…Michael Ballacks”
Canadian commentary during England-Trinidad game…wonder how long commentators having been waiting to use that one! (Simon Foxcroft, Canada).
Rooney looks like he’s been called in for his tea.Gareth Southgate on Wayne Rooney’s petulant reaction after being substituted against Sweden. (Johnny, UK).

The goalkeeper wants locking up!
BBC’s Mark Lawrenson on the hapless performance of Tunisia goalkeeper Ali Boumnijel against Spain.

I hope he’d put up more of a fight if he was trying to nick his wallet!”
Mick McCarthy after Serbia & Montenegro’s Mateja Kezman crumples under a challenge from Gabriel Heinze of Argentina. (Nick Turnbull, UK).

Brazil were Kaka!”
Best Comment of the Brazil match by Gary Lineker. (Stan Holcroft, Netherlands).

I knew the Australians were in town when I was sat next to an inflatable Kangaroo on the train this morning.”
John Helm Commentating on Australia v Japan for Canadian TV. (John Beeden, Canada).

David Pleat: “The USA are playing a 4-3-2 formation.”
Peter Drury: “It can’t be 4-3-2 – there are only eight outfield players!”
ITV commentary team during USA-Italy game. (Stephen W, UK).

Serbia & M have made one change for the second half, while Argentina are still Argentina.”
Jonathan Pearce commentating for BBC1 during Argentina v Serbia & Montenegro game. (Stephen W, UK).

The goal is coming. It’s whether or not the clock runs out.”
ITV pundit Gareth Southgate is hardly going to give Nostradamus a run for his money. (Erik Sharman, UK).

Lawro: “He took out his standing leg.”
Motty: “That’s the sort of thing Fifa want to stamp out.”
Lawro: “What, his leg?”
Typical dialogue between Motty and Lawro during the Italy-Ghana game, after De Rossi scythed down Essien.

Its like a big yellow banana running at you!”
The BBC’s Mark Lawrenson on Paul Robinson in the England Paraguay match. (Alastair McCrea, Northern Ireland).

He’s a part-time wally.”
Mick McCarthy on the Russian referee during the France v Switzerland game. (Dougie Ferguson, Scotland).

Have we got a team in there?”
American voice, on being asked by Radio Deutsche Vella: “Who will be the two teams in the World Cup final?”. Only in America! (Bill Maddock, Brit in Australia).

The King of Saudi isn’t here today as he was detained by domestic mattersmind you, so would you if you had 30 wives and 35 children…”
ITV’s Jon Champion. (Stephen W, UK).

If the United States beat Italy, call this the World Cup FINAL.””I’m not bothered by McBride’s nose. It’s the own goal that’s making me laugh.””Look at that tackle! Fifa should look into having players wear helmets.”
All by one of our TV football ‘experts’. (Jackie Pike, USA).

Frankfurt is only two hours from London, so this is just like a home game for England!”
Commentator on ABC Sport channel in USA. (Lee Newton, USA).

Valencia has made a big impression on the Poland players today, mostly around the shins.”
ESPN’s Irish commentator Tommy Smyth during the coverage of Poland v Ecuador. (Ben Leyland, USA).

The referee isn’t biased…he’s just rubbish.”
Alan Green commentating on Five Live Sport during England v Paraguay clash. (Chris Davis, England).

The ball is an essential part of the game.”
Johan Cruyff on Dutch TV after the Holland-Serbia match.

The most famous football player in the world, Michael Beckham.”
An American World Cup commentator for television Station ABC, commenting on how famous David Beckham is – unfortunately he can’t get his name correct. (Charlotte Brennand, America).

And there’s a joke on the German bench…Oliver Kahn.”
During the England match…I think it was John Motson as the camera panned over to the German bench who were laughing at something. (Andrew, England).
They couldn’t bring him on, he was having his afternoon nap.”
Gary Lineker after Ian Wright suggested bringing on Theo Walcott. (Stacey, England).

He’s got a skunk on his head!”
Mick McCarthy on Danijel Ljuboja and his barnet during the Serbia & Montenegro v Holland match. (Gareth Robinson, England).

Some of the referee’s decisions have been very one-sided, with both teams getting an equal share of his mistakes.”
Commentator from ART sports on the England v Paraguay game. (Matthew Kirkman, Bahrain).

It was getting ‘Klose’ all the time, but ‘Frings’ worked out in the end!”
Gary Lineker after the Germany-Costa Rica Game. (Andy, UK).

Goooooooooooooooal to Iraq…Iran.”
Commentary on Brazilian TV during the Iran v Mexico game. (Tim, Brazil).

June 27, 2006 at 4:55 pm Leave a comment

legal aid

I saw this and thought it would benefit everyone. but dont hold me responsible for any bad stuff ( lol)

Dear All,

I would like to introduce SimpLaw, a website that offers legal information.SimpLaw is a resource that enables you to access information on the lawquickly. Our goal is to demystify the law and make legal transactions easierand more affordable. You can ask questions for no charge on any aspect of the law. You can alsodownload sample legal forms, for a minimal cost, for different transactionssuch as employment contracts, contracts for sale and purchase of propertyand tenancy agreements. For more information please visit http://www.simplaw.co.ke.
RegardsKathambi Kinoti

June 22, 2006 at 4:34 pm Leave a comment

My world cup IS BACK

I know that this may sound a tad selfish, with all the drama going on around here, but MY DSTV IS BACK. For all those who have no idea, our dish had been blown away by the wind (literally). Our attempts to watch the Brazil game at the neighbours were thwarted by this really really nasty odiero (No disrespect to all nice odieros but this one was very mean and racist) having never encountered racism in Africa, I was shocked that someone could come to my continent and behave like that. He literally chased guys, those ones of “ what are you doing here? who said you could come here, do you not understand english” and this was not even his house, it was an NGO compound. ASHIDWE

Anyway I digress, so energised (humiliated) we decided to fix our own, I mean what could be soo hard!!! Trust me its hard. But with the help of this GREAT lady at multichoice Kenya (big up) and 3 days of no work, (if you know bossman please dont tell) , we finally did it, in time to watch a very disappointing game between Sweden and Paraguay, but hey after resigning myself to missing the entire WC, I would have watched Gor Mahia. (go gor!!!!)

Not caring about the budget right now. Till my euphoria dies down

June 16, 2006 at 10:25 am Leave a comment

Life’s little(ish) dilemmas

so since our fuschball is out, we gotta bond,no?? sitting in the evening watching the stars and the beautiful moon,we started discussing lifes little (sometimes big) dillemmas. So help us out here- it all started as a small: really small arguement about citizenship, so that is where I will start:

1. Would you give up your citizenship?
7/10 would give up their citizenship without batting an eyelid. Couldnt imagine what was going through Oliech’s mind.(refusing 100 million- sheesh) But of the 7 all would NEVER (their words not mine) change their name for any amount.


2. What would you do for your girl/man
here are the scenario(s):

a.) You are the boss, you hire a girl/man, you really like the girl/man seems the feelings are mutual. Problem: do you pursue this person and loose the respect of your collegues and juniors ama do you let what/who could be the one go?

5/10 would let him/her go
3/10 would try to change jobs
10/10 would suggest that the girl/man get another job.

b.) You meet a girl/man, love him/her to bits your mother thinks she is the worst thing to happen to you since you were bullied in form one.
3/10 would give up the girl/man
7/10 would try to negoo with mother

c.) The usual one, meet him/her but you are married/committed.
As the Indian would say “vhat to do yaar”
2/10 would not touch the girl/man ( two people, 2, wawili,seriously 2 people!!!!!)
8/10 would do the nasty but keep is a secret

3. Who is more important: For the boys: Your wife or your mother/ For the girls: your husband or your father

Nothing to add here
Lets just say the women chose father while the men chose wife.

4. Your family or your job
You get what is your dream job, you would be very good at it, you would enjoy it, it pays more than you ever dreamt of earning, the problem its in a different continent from your family?
Suprisingly this was the most difficult for people to decide. the debate continues………………………

Not to bore you with many more, just thought this are some of the major dilemas that many people face daily.

So what would you do?

June 14, 2006 at 10:59 am Leave a comment

listening to Football (luhya style) part 3 [The smugness, the horror, the anger and finally the shame]


So the world cup started yesterday? BIG DEAL. No sattelite, not radio, this sucks.

The History: Ok to rewind abit……….. Two months ago our sattelite dish was blown away by this hurricane like winds. Bossman decides its too expensive to bring someone over here to fix it. Believe me it costs less to go to Europe than to come here. So no TV

The smugness: Well no worries for me I say (thinking to my self that I have paid my world space subscription and the thing has many, MANY channels) besides this radio station has been saying how they will broadcast all the games. Being an expert at listening to footbal am totally bila worries. Those without radios wameze wembe…….. yeah I rule

The horror: Now its 7 p.m jobo is over, I pack my stuff and head off to my hut.. sure enough the game is starting, the players are in the tunnel, they march in and the anthems are starting. So I say to myself, “quick shower, then settle in for the game” to my shock this british accented voice starts saying “Due to contractual agreements, we are unable to bring the scheduled program at this time, but here are some moments you may have missed” what moment? when did I miss them? and who the **effing told them I want to hear those moments right now……….?

The anger: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The shame: its now 11.30am kenya time saturday morning, I think i can go for my friday dinner now and apologize to my collegues for the horrors and not talking to them and not joining them for dinner last nite. And probably try and have my radio repaired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

End result:
1. To my collegues: you know I got love for you all.
2. World space: My broken radio is absolutely no reflection on you
3. That radio station (for fear of being somethinged (sued, killed, et al), I will not name them): I really really have no good feelings for you right now. We have had a good relationship over the years, but after what you did yesterday: IT IS SOOOO OVER BETWEEN US. Am looking for a new station to feed my hunger for soccer and to dall in love with. Goodbye bad radio station

Enjoy the world cup!!!!! and the French open ( if anyone even remembers its going on)


June 10, 2006 at 10:51 am Leave a comment

Ban gay marriages- for morality? (Yeah right)





I thought it was tough being a woman in this world, but there are worse things E.g. being Gay!!!!!!!!! The decider himself is Again looking for ways to make them non people ( and at the rose garden nonetheless)

The decider is trying to tell us that marriage (between one man and one woman is the moral thing to do) This from a country that is glued to their screens watching “who want to marry a millionaire, who want to marry my dad, Bachelorette, the bachelor and those kuks who met over some radio program and lived “happily ever after” for one month……” America has the highest rate of divorce – IN THE WORLD. and they claim that it is for the sake of the children, is it better to tell your children that you met and fell in love or you met and kissed dozens of women/men over the television before deciding on which one to marry!!!!!!!!!


Any student of Gender will tell you that it is NOT the sex of a person that raises a child, it is the nature/morals of the person- so whether it is 2 men, 2 women, or 1 man and 1woman, it doesnt matter!!!!!!!!!! Anyone remember that crazyass couple who systematically killed and buried their children in their backyard? It is not the sex- its the people.


Ok enough venting

Anyone hear about the 80 year old geezer couple who are spending 400,000 USD for their family mausoleum!!!!!! FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND. Their excuse? the old man has a phobia about being put in the ground and soil poured on him. DUDE YOU ARE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway everybody should vent today because the world may end today 6/6/6 the number of the beast!!!!!!!!!!!! and before the world cup too.

June 6, 2006 at 10:35 am Leave a comment

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