Thinking should be left to the professionals

August 8, 2007 at 11:07 am 20 comments

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today,
life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.”
NO IT DOESN’T!

Am sad! and not just that sadness that goes away after 2 beers…………..noooooo I would be soo lucky! The sadness that grips you by your throat and doesn’t let go! I have finally understood why Iam always reading something or watching something. Confused? let me start from the beginning.

I spent the weekend with a friend (yes that one AKA D1). But I woke up Monday morning feeling very restless. Am one of those people who HATES morning and have to struggle to wake up. But I was awake by 6.30am on a Monday morning.

I had finished the book I was reading so I had nothing to do! That is when the stupid thinker in me decided to assert itself! I started wondering where my life was going? ( rolling eyes at my stupidity) I never EVER do such things. Iam embarrassed to admit that am one of those people who just goes with the flow! Don’t get me wrong I do plan, but I keep it at an absolute minimum. Otherwise am a case of bring it on! Am like a very weak tree, if the wind blows east, then east I go.

 So you can imagine my shock when I actually started thinking only to realise that my life really does need an adjustment! And am not even close to being happy!  Initially I thought it is just Monday blues and separation anxieties. But its Wednesday today, nothing has changed, I still feel empty inside, Sad and unadulterated hatred for my collegues (well to be fair that is usually a permanent state!) I feel like nothing matters in this world. Am I going crazy? AAAARRRRGGGH I should never be allowed to think! NEVER.

 Smoking update: Still sober (what is the equivalent in smoking?) but I could kill for a smoke right now! Archer can you mail me one?

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Kumbe its not only in Sudan! Good bye

20 Comments Add your own

  • 1. inexess  |  August 8, 2007 at 11:24 am

    Position tu….. laters

    Reply
  • 2. betty  |  August 8, 2007 at 11:50 am

    (((((())))))i know how that is!! am telling you this thinking business just does more harm than good lool..hang in there (look who’s talking)..aarrggghh what the hell, let’s go get drank!!

    You know lets go get really really reall drunk!

    Archer..and not those ksh 0.50 ones you smoke.HnH..shika French ones..you won’t remember your thoughts!!!

    did you say forget thoughts? leta hiyo hapa

    Reply
  • 3. inexess  |  August 8, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    This adjustment you will be making do you think its gonna make you happy? If yes – go for it!!! But dear try to be a more ‘firmer’ tree… sio kuenda na upepo ovyo ovyo LOL

    that is the problem I don’t know what adjustments to make, and now am too scared to think 🙂

    Reply
  • 4. Nakeel  |  August 8, 2007 at 1:03 pm

    Sometimes thinking can spoil your moods. Dont worry hand in there and do whats only right and makes you happy.
    Betty please dont give the gal some vile have been celebrating her cleaning. Take lots of maji moto mami. I know its coz of the cold ama?

    either the cold or the rain? Ati maji moto? LOOOL.

    Reply
  • 5. kipepeo  |  August 8, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    Oh about work colleagues? Boy don’t I know…even worse feelings with bosses…they seem to induce that feeling just before you throw up…yeah that one!! And totally feel you on realizing that you need a life revamp. Sometimes you get too busy trying to stay afloat and other times, when you’re finally buoyant, you just want to happily buoyance (yes I just made that word up) either way, you forget to propel a little so you can move from the current buoyance spot…if you catch me drift. All in all ((((((((((((half n’ half)))))))))

    Ahsante dear, and for that new word………..

    Reply
  • 6. prou  |  August 8, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    ((((((HnH)))) I think am on the other end of the spectrum think , think and think some more. But it rarely gets me down.
    Tho there is a work colleague that I usually visualize throwing out of the window just for kicks!
    Keep smokeless!!

    you are lucky, maybe I should try thinking more, maybe my brain just got scared! colleagues can be a royal pain in the you know where!

    Reply
  • 7. aegeus  |  August 8, 2007 at 2:39 pm

    Mazee…as eveidenced by some posts i did some time back thinking is best left, as you said, to the Professionals! I shall stick to random ones…

    Keep your head up! ((((((((((((((HnH)))))))))))) **so glad i am telling this to a gal, can you imagine the connotation in case it was a guy?** 🙂

    N, get thee thine head out of the gutter! Me thinks I will join you in the random ones!

    Reply
  • 8. Gishungwa  |  August 8, 2007 at 5:01 pm

    Must be an outbreak been thinking too though am not sad more like determined. Sometimes its good sometimes it sucks, just sort the good and get a plan to be happy because you deserve it. {{{HnH}}} you will soon be ok if all fails join betty and i for a few but no smokes.

    yaani I have to try and get a plan before I join you and betty for a few? si me I just want a few:) but I hear you

    Reply
  • 9. Seasons and Reasons  |  August 8, 2007 at 5:17 pm

    You have now made me despondent. I set time aside to think and use this allocated time just for that…the rest of the time I float.

    seriously? what if you have nothing to think about at the allocated thinking time?

    Reply
  • 10. 3N  |  August 8, 2007 at 5:57 pm

    You got to be strong HnH…yes there are improvements that you and all of us need to make our lives but I say it is easy to ignore the positives and focus on the negatives. I am sure that if you thought about what you have achieved, the people you care about, your dreams…there is joy and blessings in your life.

    This made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! thank you!

    I say life is a balancing act between being happy with what you have and being sensitive to the changes one needs to make in order to live an even happier life in future.

    Reply
  • 11. egm  |  August 8, 2007 at 7:14 pm

    Pole dada. How about that kalunch we commiserate on this thinking biashara?

    As some have said, use this to weed out the bad and to keep the good in you…

    that ka lunch will really do me good! wacha tu I fika!

    Reply
  • 12. mwariwadavid  |  August 8, 2007 at 9:04 pm

    Hugs to you gal!
    It’s the winds of change blowing in your life. Do not resist, the process could be painful but the results will be good. It’s ok to feel sad once in a while. But put on a smile now 🙂

    I dont like being sad! how is the new joint dear?

    Reply
  • 13. threetypesofcrazy  |  August 8, 2007 at 10:16 pm

    2halfs- we are all a work in progress.
    I’s all been said. {{{{{{{{{{{{{HNH}}}}}}}}}}

    Thank you

    Reply
  • 14. Kirima  |  August 9, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    I also have my phases of thinking(not to many)and it is good once in a while to sit back and reflect on yourself but not too often cos you will get nothing done in my view it is more important to get the thoughts in motion.
    That said Brandy helps me think! Congrats on the smoking

    I love brandy! ok trust me to pick on the alcohol! lakini now am afraid of thinking too much

    Reply
  • 15. kipusa  |  August 9, 2007 at 2:42 pm

    sometimes i refuse to think, i just lie there and look at the ceiling for like an hour or so and after that i feel better

    I should try that sometime! but am too restless to just lie there

    Reply
  • 16. Wanja Kihii  |  August 9, 2007 at 3:14 pm

    Self analysis is the most scary exercise to undertake, plus you have to be honest with yourself, they say the truth sets us free..mmmmmh….thoughts should be banned…kama sigara na polythene bags

    Have a double tot of Johnny Walker Black label

    woooi that sounds like heaven! getting drunk and not thinking for ages

    Reply
  • 17. farmgal  |  August 9, 2007 at 8:26 pm

    Its the ciggies….vumilia chic don’t fall off the wagon.
    Don’t compare your life with other peep’s. It can be very depressing..enjoy where you are in life!

    I do believe its that ciggies (or lack thereof) it can be depressing when you see others moving and you seem to be at the same spot for ages! you sort of understand what those athletes who are overlapped by kiplimo feel 🙂

    Reply
  • 18. Pekiro  |  August 10, 2007 at 12:10 pm

    Change is inevidable….no matter how painful it is….it has to come!

    it should however trickle down like langata taps!

    Reply
  • 19. kipusa  |  August 14, 2007 at 9:32 am

    just try, the reason why you get too restless is coz you think too much.

    Reply
  • 20. Kafai  |  August 14, 2007 at 1:15 pm

    Gal, if I told you how many times I get that sinking feeling after a long thought decided to land in my head! Look at what makes you happy and do more of that! First time here and starting to think I have found a kindred spirit. Will be by more often

    Reply

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